Losing the moral high ground

Last week at work a customer came in with a problem with his Pay-As-You-Go phone.  I had a feeling that the situation was one he would have to call into customer service to so I suggested he try that.  He insisted that I fix the problem so I took a look at his phone, played with the settings a bit to see if I could correct the problem and when I could not I told him again that he would need to call customer service.  I offered to dial it for him using his phone, and explained that it was a toll free call.

Within about two minutes he had accused me of breaking his phone, though it worked exactly the same as it had before he entered the store, and was threatening me with phyiscal harm.  Finally he left after I had told him he was no longer welcome in the store.  Yesterday he came back in and apologized, saying that I was right he called customer service and they had fixed the problem quickly and that he had just gotten mad.  Then he asked me to fix another problem with his phone.

"Call customer service," I told him, knowing that again he had to call them for it.

"No you fix it on your comptuer," he said going from apologetic to angry.

"No I can't do that, and even if I could I told you that you weren't allowed in here last time after you..."

He cut me off, "I apologized for that, fix my phone."

I told him to leave and eventually had to go through the process of starting to dial the Vancouver Police Department to get him to leave.  Outside he banged on the glass until I looked at him then fingered me. Then he stormed back in to let me know that he had apologized and that he could look in the mirror at night but I couldn't because I would not help him out.

Now clearly he is not an objective observer, but afterwards Didier my co-worker said, "He apologized you should have helped him."  At what point does saying sorry absolve you of all improper conduct?  I'm not a Catholic priest, I don't take confession and even if he was truely sorry I find it completely baffling that someone who threatens you should expect you to help then a week later.

Comments

[Gregg]

I think it would have made a much bigger difference if he had stopped by the store just to apologize, and then came back a month later asking for help. But what you got was an empty apology, he only did so because he wanted help again. I don't think you were in the wrong at all, and I'm a non-confrontational type of person.

Since you didn't immediately ask him to leave, I'm thinking it might have even worked had he apologized this time, and then asked "I have another issue, can you tell me if you can help or if I have to call customer service?" Since you say it was again an issue they only could help with, I'm not quite sure why your co-worker says you should have done more when it was already established where that path leads in this guy's forest.

Basically, sounds like the guy has anger and control issues.... something for which you don't have to be apologetic.

[Jeffery Simpson]

Yeah, I think so too. It's just frustrating if he'd just gotten mad and stormed out that would be one thing, but to come back and lay the karma guilt trip thing on me was annoying as hell.

[Gregg]

He can look in the mirror at night because he's oblivious to his own inappropriate actions. But that's not karma. Karma will be when he doesn't get promoted to management at work due to his confrontational nature, and can't figure out why. Karma will be when his third wife leaves him; just like the last two. And hopefully it will be limited to things like that, and karma won't rear its head in the form of someone he cares about getting hurt when he road rages or something equally as bad.

You can look yourself in the mirror tonight knowing you're going to get a lot further in life that that schmuck.

[urban]

Dude, your co-worker is an ass.