That ring of confidence

We've been working on the wording on our save-the-date cards and our wedding invitations, but yet oddly enough every suggestion I come up with gets rejected. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, so I'm throwing it out to the masses. Below are some of my rejected wedding invitation pitches, phrases and slogans. Read through them and leave a comment supporting my vision for what really ought to go on the invitations.  With the overwhelming support of the public, she'll have no choice but to let me write the invitations my way.

• "Yo we're having a wedding, why don't you come?"
• "Neither of us are preggers & we're still getting married. It must be love."
• "We have so few friends, so please come or it'll be sad."
• "If you're planning on taking your own life, hold off until after August Ninth."
• "If you promise not to eat much we'd love to have you at our special day."
• "No babies."
• "No Homers."
• "Yes I'll probably look fat in the suit, deal with it."
• "Star Trek Themed."
• "Marriage FTW."
• "No MC Hammer Rap Pants."
• "BYOB"
• "Admission $45"
• "With special guests The Mighty Mighty Bosstones"